Unfolding Mental Illness

  Unfolding Mental Illness

Neither it can be seen nor it can be touched but that doesn’t mean it ceases to exist. It’s like completely transparent air, that’s why you feel it and you cannot live without it. It can make you or break you. It can bring you to melancholy or elation within a fraction of seconds. The more you try to perceive with eyes, the more it becomes invisible. There’s only one way to know it and it is to believe that it is there.

The “it” mystery that I've been talking about is none other than brain or mind or intellect or sense or grey matter: whatever you call it. When the mind becomes different or functions differently from the defined definition of normal behavior, it is called mental illness. In other words, a condition that causes serious disorder in a person's thinking or behavior is defined as mental illness. Since its symptoms are completely different from the signs of cough or cancer, we cannot always figure out the kind of mental illness and its medications. We are not too far from the fact that no mental illness can be fully cured through medical pills as it also requires an individual’s effort, changes in lifestyle and thoughts, acceptance, and meditation. In simple words let’s regard it as more dangerous than HIV AIDS or cancer as living with mental illness is itself a hell that can make a person end their own life at any time.

Mental health disturbances

1. Food 

               

The foods that you eat every day might be making your brain function more or less than necessary. When the brain has to operate more or less than the capacity, it leads to mental illness. It is proven that eating just before going to bed or eating a full stomach before sleeping causes nightmares. The reason behind this is that the brain needs to function more in order to carry out metabolism activity and hence brain waves are induced causing nightmares. The intake of foods like fried food, processed meat, refined cereals, candy, pastries, and high-fat dairy products can make the person more anxious and depressed. The foods like chicken, egg, milk, fruits, and vegetables release more serotonin in the brain and one can vividly remember their dreams. Serotonin is a feel-good hormone that is advantageous for mental health. On the other hand, It’s good to avoid foods and drinks containing caffeine and gluten as it holds the record to cause anxiety.

2. Heredity

      

Here let’s take an example of a mango plant. We know that mango plants always give mango as a fruit. In the same way, it is obvious that the children bear the properties of their parents. The DNA cells are transferred from parents to children exhibiting similar physical and psychological properties. But there’s always a chance of exception in human beings because each individual is different from the other. Among the several mental diseases; bipolar disorder, one in ten children of the same parents can have it. In the patients having schizophrenia, there’s a 10% chance if one parent or brother, or sister has the disease. The chance increases to 40% if both the parents have the disease and the chance goes up to 50% if the twin brother or sister has schizophrenia. 

3. Stress

      

Stress is one of the inevitable parts of human life. Like we cannot imagine a day without night, happiness always comes along with a bit of sadness and that’s the rule of the universe. Stress neither comes with an expiry date nor with any manufacturing date. When a sensitive mind cannot handle the pressure of distress, it leads to several different mental diseases. It also gives birth to several different physical diseases and worsens the illness if it already exists.

4. Mental Injury

                              

The deep injury in the head due to accidents can also lead to mental illness. There is a saying in our Nepalese society that we should never hit someone, especially a child in the head. It is said so because even minor brain injuries can lead to serious and unrecoverable mental illnesses for a lifetime. The head injury can lead to nerve damage that in turn causes mental trauma. That is why we can analyze that every head problem has more or less connected with the mental health and thought of the person (For instance migraine).

5. Childhood

       

It is said that childhood is the foundation of life. Whatever shape one’s life takes depends on childhood. That is why it is our major responsibility to give the correct environment for our children to nurture and grow. It is said that we become what we are fed and hence a child should always be fed good culture and foods to make their health and future bright and beautiful. The famous saying from William Wordsworth ”A child is the father of a man”, also symbolizes the same thing in a deeper scenario.

6. Certain life-changing event(sudden loss or gain)

       

When an unexpected event happens in life, we cannot control the flow of certain hormones in our brain and body. Either it overflows or underflows according to the situation and seriousness of the event. Sometimes we become completely shattered from within and it becomes impossible to console ourselves and recovery from that event is impossible. For example unexpected death, unexpected lottery, sudden loss or gain of plenty of wealth, etc affects our mind in such a way that we fall into that deep pit of mental illness being helpless to retrieve ourselves from that.

7. Inactivity

 

The movement of mind and body are inversely proportional to each other. When we are physically active, the circulation of blood in the brain is efficient. Due to this the movement and functioning of oxygen and other nutrients is high in the brain which keeps our nervous system healthy. Exercise promotes feeling good chemicals in the brain. It is also proved that crying increases awareness like yoga or martial arts. Crying also loses weight as stressful hormones pass through tears. However, crying every day and way too much is abnormal and causes harm. P. S. Too much of anything is not good.

8. Lack of love:

 

We know that the life of every creature on this planet starts with love. Those who believe in God also define God as the eternal foundation of love. I personally think that being a creation of nature to unlove is to become unnatural. One’s life can never be fulfilled with any luxury or fame when they lack love in their life. Love can not only be received from our parents or partner but from our pet as well. When there is a scarcity of love in our life the hormones such as dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins are not produced in the required quantity and hence we become mentally sick and unstable. Life is incomplete without love and nothing else can fill the space of love in one’s life.

9. Violence:

                

The scenes beyond our usual habit such as violent and abnormal scenes that create disturbances in the mind can lead to mental illness. The decrease in serotonin over normal for a longer time is harmful to the brain. The unpleasant and undesirable circumstances hamper our nervous system. Violence does not necessarily have to be physical. Either it was yesterday’s world war’s threat or it is today’s corona fear, both can be taken as mental outbreaks of violence to humankind which has been causing psychological disorders. There’s no doubt that violence leads to mental illness.

10. The sixth sense:

               

The unseen and unbelievable matter that our science has not yet succeeded to prove is the sixth sense. The person who has spiritual power also behaves differently than the normal human being. We might give it a name of coincidence and superstition but deep down we cannot deny that it is something beyond the so-called superstition and coincidence. Maybe this is the reason why hospitals also have praying rooms. I don’t know if there’s God or a demon but I surely believe in the positive and negative energies that occupy our surroundings. Tantra and supernatural things are not everyone’s cup of tea and it requires lots of intellect to recognize these things. Things always appear the way we behold them. So the ongoing corona might also be a wise game of nature that has been giving us enough self-realization time and teaching us the importance of nature conservation. This might be the time to discover the unmanifested. After all mental illness is just a state of one’s mind being different from other's definition of normal.  

picture source: pixabay.com

That’s me!

 That’s me!

I know a girl who is Brave but Sensitive

Emotional and Creative

Talkative as well as Tentative

Actually,

Her attitude fits in none of the nouns and adjectives

shhhhh……..

I got a tale to tell

Few of her secrets to yell

 

Once upon a time was a full moon(Purnima) with lots of flaws.

She kept gasping for Oxygen while sharpening her claws.

Her bold feminism and that downpouring rainstorm

She was in a dilemma: whether to install an Internet Explorer or Google Chrome

She thought:

Time: high or low

Will come and go

Who will stay with even when I say no?

Though it was raining, I saw her tears

Even in that pitch darkness, I witnessed her fears

She thought and thought and thought till her head cracked with pain

Yet could not decide which web browser to actually claim 

Among many, two were the most

Between those two she herself was lost

This or that or this or that or this…….

Severe headache and stress so deep

**ck that creep!

She shut down her laptop and went to sleep

मैले आफुभित्र आगो भेटेको छु

मैले आफुभित्र आगो भेटेको छु 

जब म आफुलाई हेर्छु; ऐनामा,

लाग्छ मेरो जन्मौं जन्म देखिको प्रेमिले मलाई नियाल्दै छ

 

त्यो हेरिरहेको आँखामा म बिशाल प्रेम देख्छु 

जुन 

आँखा भित्र म आँफैलाई देख्छु 

त्यो हेरिरहेको आँखामा म बिशाल प्रेम देख्छु 

मेरो  

आँखा भित्र म आँफैलाई देख्छु 

त्यो हेराइमा एउटा सिंगो प्रश्न छ 

त्यस्को उत्तर म सँग सुन्य छ 

प्रश्न सङ्सँगै सपनाहरु आँशुको पोखरीमा 

डुबिरहेको देख्छु 

रातमा सिरानीमा अररो परेका सपानाका लाशहरु 

बिहान फेरी जिउँदा भएका कथाहरु पढ्छु 

  

उस्को ओठमा म लाली हैन क्रोध देख्छु 

त्यो क्रोधमा अरसल्ल परेका चोटहरु

जब म हेर्छु उस्लाई,

उस्लाई नहेर्न मनले मान्दैन

जब म बुझ्छु उस्लाई 

उस्लाई नबुझ्न मनले मान्दैन

उह् किताब भैदिये  

पढेर मलाई अघाउन मन लाग्दैन 

उस्मा गल्ती भएका रस्व दिर्घ 

म नसच्यायी हेरिरहन्छु 

उह् एत्तिकै राम्री लाग्छ

विथ् दोज् डार्क सर्कल्स् 

त्यो अनुहार मलाई साह्रै प्रिय लाग्छ

अनी 

म आफ्नै प्रेममा निर्लिप्त हुन्छु 

यस्तो आभाश हुन्छ 

म जस्लाई हेर्दै छु उह् म हैन

जस्ले मलाइ हेर्दै छ उह् म हैन 

उस्को बलिदानको काहानी पढेर म स्वास्वा हुन्छु

उस्को निस्वर्थिपन देखेर म वाह् वाह् हुन्छु

उस्को मुहार देखेर जती प्रेमका भाबहरु आउछँन् 

त्यती नै डरहरु पनि 

अहँ 

म त्यती भयानक हुनै सक्दिन 

 

तर एउटा तत्व छ हामीलाई एउटै बनाउने

 

आगो!

मान्छु, 

म मा थोरै छ 

उस्मा पुरै मुस्लोसरी

 

तर

आगो जती भएपनी एक झिल्का नै त चाहिने हो नि डढेलो लगाउन  

हो 

मैले आफुभित्र आगो भेटेको छु !!!

 

  

 

  

दया लाग्यो सम्माननीय

दया लाग्यो सम्माननीय

 

तिमीलाई जति यो ग्रिश्मले पोल्छ 

मलाई पनि त्यति नै पोल्छ

तर म तौलिया बेरेर नाङ्गो छाति देखाउँदिन

तिमीले त्यसो गर्दा पनि म कुनै उत्तेजनामा आउँदिन  

खबरदार!

मेरो तिघ्रालाई पुरानो थोत्रे फरियामा कैद गर्न नखोज

मेरो स्वतन्त्रतालाई तिमि आफ्नो पैतृक सम्पत्ति नसोच 

मेरो तिघ्रा त्यस्तै छ जस्तो तिम्री आमाको 

आशिर्वाद छ मलाई मेरी आमा अनि बाबाको 

नहेर !

तिघ्रामा केहि पाइन्न ,

खोज !

सायद तिम्री श्रीमतीको आँखामा तिम्रो लागि सम्मान होला !

चुक्….चुक्.… दया लाग्यो सम्माननीय !

कम्तिमा आफुले खाएको थाल त मोल !

My mom always lived in the quarantine

Where the whole world is trembling with the fear of Coronavirus, it is my mother who doesn't give a damn about the virus. Let me describe my mom's personality before telling you guys about the secret of her quarantine.



My Mother is a quiet lady with an abundance of skills and intelligence. I am overwhelmed to see how she finds a solution to every little-big problem effortlessly. I often give her the title of an engineer as she has the intellect of an engineer, although her smallest daughter is going to get the certificate. She creates her own jewelry by giving them an extraordinary design, which is found in no market. She knows to make Dhaka cloth, knit woolen clothes, sing, etc none of which I am skilled at doing. Despite having all these qualities she lives in-home quarantine ever since I remember.


Talking about the experiences, my mother has traveled to more places than I ever had. She is the dear daughter of her lost father who still keeps pride in her birthplace and sometimes boasts about her Maiti.  She often tells me stories of her childhood and how she used to play with this friend and that friend. It's not that my mom never had any friends, but now she completely chooses isolation from society. My mom never gets out of house territory, not even to nearby shops. 


Being the fourth daughter of my parents, I've spent almost all of my life with my mom. I must say that she’s a brave lady who never seeks help from anyone in the neighborhood. I’ve never ever seen her making gossips with the other women or joining any Bhajan Kirtan Mandali or groups. She finds more peace and comfort in her own company. Let’s say that she’s the lady who minds her own business.


In these few days, I have realized that the lesson Coronavirus has been teaching us now is the same lesson that my mother has been trying to teach me for more than a decade. 


Lesson 1: Life is not impossible without unnecessary socialization.

Lesson 2: One gets enough time for self as well as family in a home-quarantine.

Lesson 3: It’s better to mind our own businesses rather than unnecessary socialization.


We have been choosing home-quarantine to be safe from virus infection. But what about the virus that exists inside our thoughts? Doesn’t society act like a virus sometimes? Doesn’t it make us mentally disabled and emotionally paralyzed by judging each and every step that we take? Isn’t isolation better to safeguard ourselves from the viruses that infect our mental health?

Well,

The surprising thing about my mom is that she treats Coronavirus as an issue that is not necessary to be discussed at all. It might be so because she follows her self-quarantine and knows that the virus doesn’t die by fostering its publicity.


Sometimes it feels like the entire world is following my mother and this is what mother nature wants.


Picture source: pixabay.com

Dreams Have A lot To Say

A Shivling was sitting in the spotlessly clean water of a temple in the yard of Himalaya. A religious bell was hung just above the Shivling supported by local woods. The devotion within me was completely reflecting in my eyes and face. I massaged the Shivling with the water on which it was sitting. The water felt like a pure portion of milk. I rang the bell thrice and chanted Shiva Stotram.

The periphery of the temple was so pious that anybody could feel the divine blessings of lord shiva. When I would tilt my head upward at an angle of 45 degrees I could view the pagoda-style shiva temple. The pilgrimages in orange uniform lighting incense sticks outside the main temple and carrying white flowers inside the temple would be seen every time I looked at the temple in front of me.

I was the only one who did not go to worship the big statue of Shakara that was kept inside the temple. A thought kept me from going inside the temple. “The entire gist is in this Shivling and people keep lighting those incense sticks. The real fragrance comes from within not without.” I realized that those words were from Lord SHIVA.

 

I kept washing the Shivling with full devotion. While washing, the white ring on my finger fell on the water and floated like the most expensive piece of stone on the planet. I had never seen such a lustrous thing before. I kept on witnessing the scene without a single question in my head. 

The density of the ring was higher than water so it must have sunk according to our science. Maybe the density of that pure water was higher than that of the ring or maybe God wanted to give me a glimpse of h i/e s/r presence.  Or maybe it was just a dream of mine. But that movement mesmerized me so much that it felt so real. My eyes were filled with tears. Maybe they were the drops of love that I was receiving from God. Another sacred voice started playing in my ears. “ When the ring is separated from your hand, you are able to see its real beauty. It doesn’t bother you anymore. So will be your life if you see it from my eyes. Separate your soul from that temporary body and observe it. You will realize that it’s the most precious thing in the world.”

I was aware that it was just my dream but my face could not resist glowing with satisfaction and my heart was filled with the purity of love from God. 

A talk on Premarital Pregnancy-Your child should not kill you!

 

I saw a huge gathering of people(so-called social animals), I heard a few heart-rendering cries, and I noticed her body (it was dead), and her life was gone. It ended with pain so devastating (i clearly saw that in every inch of her body). She hung herself on the ceiling fan or cut her wrist with a sharp blade/knife or swallowed some easily available poison(which she brought from a shop a few yards from her door). She is none other than a lady who committed suicide in your locality. (Post mortem revealed that she had a 3/4/5 months baby in her womb).

I will clearly depict the picture of the reaction made by him and her on her untimely death. The lady next door who always struggled to have a baby of her own (or if had, struggled to have a SON by killing a few of his elder sisters in the

womb), yelled” shame on such a dark spot of the society!, death was certain as she committed a sin before marriage(she spits)”. The gentleman(so-called) next door who always had his eyes on her absolutely covered bosoms and vagina(one who molested her, tortured her mentally, made her feel insecure even in public places(not empty dark spaces)), enters the suicide room with pity and says:” chukka!….chukka!….chukka!….whose sin is that she is carrying? I already said she was out of hands. You people let her fly more and see what happened. I always had a doubt that she was indulged in prostitution!! (which she never was)”.

Her father murmured after his tears were dried” What sin have I committed in the previous life that I am seeing this day in this life??”

Her mother is in deep pain. She will never judge her child but she must pretend to do so otherwise society will not let her live. She says with eyes full of tears” My daughter.....! How could you do this? How could you leave us? What was insufficient in my raising??”

Friends(the fake ones) make comments on her character, gossip, giggle and forget.

Friends(the real ones):” why did she not tell us? we would have helped her. We will never forgive ourselves for not knowing her situation although we were so close to her. Who is that moron? (they cry)”

 

This is what we have been seeing and hearing(a bitter truth). People think she killed herself because she was pregnant before marriage. The actual truth is that she killed herself and her unborn child because she was unacceptable in society, she was to be judged, her child was to be hated, she had financial insecurities, she was the victim of social drama, it was considered a sin to be natural among the non-naturals, actually u know what! she was dead long ago.

To you lady: always remember one thing” a woman is strong but a mother is way stronger.”In the entire universe, there’s only a mother who is the strongest of all(whether it be a mother of a dog or cat, or human). If you were clever enough you would have never conceived that child. You trusted him because he guided you when everyone else was busy making you lonely. But let’s not blame him or anyone here. You are responsible for this piece of life that you’ve got. If GOD can fill your womb with a new life you are already given tremendous strength to bring the baby to the world, raise, and nourish it.

 

Do not blame yourself or ever try to see yourself from the eyes of others. If you were a clever or cunning lady you would have never got pregnant. It happened because it was natural, you could not use precautions because you never planned it, it just happened. You have no fault. You are a precious lady now and a graceful mother of tomorrow. Do not see yourself from the eyes of that lady who killed her daughters in the womb or that man who always wanted to grab you or those fake friends who visit every lodge in the town and then pass ugly comments on you.

My dear lady, there are organizations that perform safe abortions without revealing your identity to anyone. Do not panic or lose hope. And to those who call your child a sin, who are they themselves? Are they not the combo of sperm and ovum? They think they became legal because their parents were married(is marriage the certification for sex?). They don’t wanna know if their mother was raped on the wedding night or other several nights. what if they are born out of rape and not love? Will they hate themselves now? They don’t wanna realize that a lady like you brought them to this world, they don’t wanna know that the whole creation exists because you; the woman conceives them, give them space in your body, feed them from your body, nurture them, make them capable and many more. The sacrifice of a mother is endless. You must be proud of yourself because becoming a mother is a gift given to you by nature.

 

This creation will end if you lose hope. By saying all these I am not promoting sex before marriage. I am just here to tell her that her child should not be the reason for her death because she must know that she is the reason that her mother feels more alive. Her unborn child who became the reason for her death would have become the absolute reason for her living and happiness. Life is not a race but a beautiful journey where you get to live bundles of experiences. Motherhood is one of the best experiences that a female can ever have. A lady can decorate herself with stunning outfits and glamorous makeup but a mother keeps the potential to decorate the whole of humankind with her purest love. You need to become a lady with grace. This is the time to wipe your tears and fight this battle with pride. The next generation is waiting for you, this time is waiting for you. You must survive because you need to change the entire concept of hypocrites! You must show the world that a mother is powerful even without a man.  You don't need a man to complete you because you are already awesome the way you are. Never ever let your unborn child kill you.

Share if u feel this can help her from killing herself.