मैले आफुभित्र आगो भेटेको छु

मैले आफुभित्र आगो भेटेको छु 

जब म आफुलाई हेर्छु; ऐनामा,

लाग्छ मेरो जन्मौं जन्म देखिको प्रेमिले मलाई नियाल्दै छ

 

त्यो हेरिरहेको आँखामा म बिशाल प्रेम देख्छु 

जुन 

आँखा भित्र म आँफैलाई देख्छु 

त्यो हेरिरहेको आँखामा म बिशाल प्रेम देख्छु 

मेरो  

आँखा भित्र म आँफैलाई देख्छु 

त्यो हेराइमा एउटा सिंगो प्रश्न छ 

त्यस्को उत्तर म सँग सुन्य छ 

प्रश्न सङ्सँगै सपनाहरु आँशुको पोखरीमा 

डुबिरहेको देख्छु 

रातमा सिरानीमा अररो परेका सपानाका लाशहरु 

बिहान फेरी जिउँदा भएका कथाहरु पढ्छु 

  

उस्को ओठमा म लाली हैन क्रोध देख्छु 

त्यो क्रोधमा अरसल्ल परेका चोटहरु

जब म हेर्छु उस्लाई,

उस्लाई नहेर्न मनले मान्दैन

जब म बुझ्छु उस्लाई 

उस्लाई नबुझ्न मनले मान्दैन

उह् किताब भैदिये  

पढेर मलाई अघाउन मन लाग्दैन 

उस्मा गल्ती भएका रस्व दिर्घ 

म नसच्यायी हेरिरहन्छु 

उह् एत्तिकै राम्री लाग्छ

विथ् दोज् डार्क सर्कल्स् 

त्यो अनुहार मलाई साह्रै प्रिय लाग्छ

अनी 

म आफ्नै प्रेममा निर्लिप्त हुन्छु 

यस्तो आभाश हुन्छ 

म जस्लाई हेर्दै छु उह् म हैन

जस्ले मलाइ हेर्दै छ उह् म हैन 

उस्को बलिदानको काहानी पढेर म स्वास्वा हुन्छु

उस्को निस्वर्थिपन देखेर म वाह् वाह् हुन्छु

उस्को मुहार देखेर जती प्रेमका भाबहरु आउछँन् 

त्यती नै डरहरु पनि 

अहँ 

म त्यती भयानक हुनै सक्दिन 

 

तर एउटा तत्व छ हामीलाई एउटै बनाउने

 

आगो!

मान्छु, 

म मा थोरै छ 

उस्मा पुरै मुस्लोसरी

 

तर

आगो जती भएपनी एक झिल्का नै त चाहिने हो नि डढेलो लगाउन  

हो 

मैले आफुभित्र आगो भेटेको छु !!!

 

  

 

  

दया लाग्यो सम्माननीय

दया लाग्यो सम्माननीय

 

तिमीलाई जति यो ग्रिश्मले पोल्छ 

मलाई पनि त्यति नै पोल्छ

तर म तौलिया बेरेर नाङ्गो छाति देखाउँदिन

तिमीले त्यसो गर्दा पनि म कुनै उत्तेजनामा आउँदिन  

खबरदार!

मेरो तिघ्रालाई पुरानो थोत्रे फरियामा कैद गर्न नखोज

मेरो स्वतन्त्रतालाई तिमि आफ्नो पैतृक सम्पत्ति नसोच 

मेरो तिघ्रा त्यस्तै छ जस्तो तिम्री आमाको 

आशिर्वाद छ मलाई मेरी आमा अनि बाबाको 

नहेर !

तिघ्रामा केहि पाइन्न ,

खोज !

सायद तिम्री श्रीमतीको आँखामा तिम्रो लागि सम्मान होला !

चुक्….चुक्.… दया लाग्यो सम्माननीय !

कम्तिमा आफुले खाएको थाल त मोल !

My mom always lived in the quarantine

Where the whole world is trembling with the fear of Coronavirus, it is my mother who doesn't give a damn about the virus. Let me describe my mom's personality before telling you guys about the secret of her quarantine.



My Mother is a quiet lady with an abundance of skills and intelligence. I am overwhelmed to see how she finds a solution to every little-big problem effortlessly. I often give her the title of an engineer as she has the intellect of an engineer, although her smallest daughter is going to get the certificate. She creates her own jewelry by giving them an extraordinary design, which is found in no market. She knows to make Dhaka cloth, knit woolen clothes, sing, etc none of which I am skilled at doing. Despite having all these qualities she lives in-home quarantine ever since I remember.


Talking about the experiences, my mother has traveled to more places than I ever had. She is the dear daughter of her lost father who still keeps pride in her birthplace and sometimes boasts about her Maiti.  She often tells me stories of her childhood and how she used to play with this friend and that friend. It's not that my mom never had any friends, but now she completely chooses isolation from society. My mom never gets out of house territory, not even to nearby shops. 


Being the fourth daughter of my parents, I've spent almost all of my life with my mom. I must say that she’s a brave lady who never seeks help from anyone in the neighborhood. I’ve never ever seen her making gossips with the other women or joining any Bhajan Kirtan Mandali or groups. She finds more peace and comfort in her own company. Let’s say that she’s the lady who minds her own business.


In these few days, I have realized that the lesson Coronavirus has been teaching us now is the same lesson that my mother has been trying to teach me for more than a decade. 


Lesson 1: Life is not impossible without unnecessary socialization.

Lesson 2: One gets enough time for self as well as family in a home-quarantine.

Lesson 3: It’s better to mind our own businesses rather than unnecessary socialization.


We have been choosing home-quarantine to be safe from virus infection. But what about the virus that exists inside our thoughts? Doesn’t society act like a virus sometimes? Doesn’t it make us mentally disabled and emotionally paralyzed by judging each and every step that we take? Isn’t isolation better to safeguard ourselves from the viruses that infect our mental health?

Well,

The surprising thing about my mom is that she treats Coronavirus as an issue that is not necessary to be discussed at all. It might be so because she follows her self-quarantine and knows that the virus doesn’t die by fostering its publicity.


Sometimes it feels like the entire world is following my mother and this is what mother nature wants.


Picture source: pixabay.com

Dreams Have A lot To Say

A Shivling was sitting in the spotlessly clean water of a temple in the yard of Himalaya. A religious bell was hung just above the Shivling supported by local woods. The devotion within me was completely reflecting in my eyes and face. I massaged the Shivling with the water on which it was sitting. The water felt like a pure portion of milk. I rang the bell thrice and chanted Shiva Stotram.

The periphery of the temple was so pious that anybody could feel the divine blessings of lord shiva. When I would tilt my head upward at an angle of 45 degrees I could view the pagoda-style shiva temple. The pilgrimages in orange uniform lighting incense sticks outside the main temple and carrying white flowers inside the temple would be seen every time I looked at the temple in front of me.

I was the only one who did not go to worship the big statue of Shakara that was kept inside the temple. A thought kept me from going inside the temple. “The entire gist is in this Shivling and people keep lighting those incense sticks. The real fragrance comes from within not without.” I realized that those words were from Lord SHIVA.

 

I kept washing the Shivling with full devotion. While washing, the white ring on my finger fell on the water and floated like the most expensive piece of stone on the planet. I had never seen such a lustrous thing before. I kept on witnessing the scene without a single question in my head. 

The density of the ring was higher than water so it must have sunk according to our science. Maybe the density of that pure water was higher than that of the ring or maybe God wanted to give me a glimpse of h i/e s/r presence.  Or maybe it was just a dream of mine. But that movement mesmerized me so much that it felt so real. My eyes were filled with tears. Maybe they were the drops of love that I was receiving from God. Another sacred voice started playing in my ears. “ When the ring is separated from your hand, you are able to see its real beauty. It doesn’t bother you anymore. So will be your life if you see it from my eyes. Separate your soul from that temporary body and observe it. You will realize that it’s the most precious thing in the world.”

I was aware that it was just my dream but my face could not resist glowing with satisfaction and my heart was filled with the purity of love from God. 

A talk on Premarital Pregnancy-Your child should not kill you!

 

I saw a huge gathering of people(so-called social animals), I heard a few heart-rendering cries, and I noticed her body (it was dead), and her life was gone. It ended with pain so devastating (i clearly saw that in every inch of her body). She hung herself on the ceiling fan or cut her wrist with a sharp blade/knife or swallowed some easily available poison(which she brought from a shop a few yards from her door). She is none other than a lady who committed suicide in your locality. (Post mortem revealed that she had a 3/4/5 months baby in her womb).

I will clearly depict the picture of the reaction made by him and her on her untimely death. The lady next door who always struggled to have a baby of her own (or if had, struggled to have a SON by killing a few of his elder sisters in the

womb), yelled” shame on such a dark spot of the society!, death was certain as she committed a sin before marriage(she spits)”. The gentleman(so-called) next door who always had his eyes on her absolutely covered bosoms and vagina(one who molested her, tortured her mentally, made her feel insecure even in public places(not empty dark spaces)), enters the suicide room with pity and says:” chukka!….chukka!….chukka!….whose sin is that she is carrying? I already said she was out of hands. You people let her fly more and see what happened. I always had a doubt that she was indulged in prostitution!! (which she never was)”.

Her father murmured after his tears were dried” What sin have I committed in the previous life that I am seeing this day in this life??”

Her mother is in deep pain. She will never judge her child but she must pretend to do so otherwise society will not let her live. She says with eyes full of tears” My daughter.....! How could you do this? How could you leave us? What was insufficient in my raising??”

Friends(the fake ones) make comments on her character, gossip, giggle and forget.

Friends(the real ones):” why did she not tell us? we would have helped her. We will never forgive ourselves for not knowing her situation although we were so close to her. Who is that moron? (they cry)”

 

This is what we have been seeing and hearing(a bitter truth). People think she killed herself because she was pregnant before marriage. The actual truth is that she killed herself and her unborn child because she was unacceptable in society, she was to be judged, her child was to be hated, she had financial insecurities, she was the victim of social drama, it was considered a sin to be natural among the non-naturals, actually u know what! she was dead long ago.

To you lady: always remember one thing” a woman is strong but a mother is way stronger.”In the entire universe, there’s only a mother who is the strongest of all(whether it be a mother of a dog or cat, or human). If you were clever enough you would have never conceived that child. You trusted him because he guided you when everyone else was busy making you lonely. But let’s not blame him or anyone here. You are responsible for this piece of life that you’ve got. If GOD can fill your womb with a new life you are already given tremendous strength to bring the baby to the world, raise, and nourish it.

 

Do not blame yourself or ever try to see yourself from the eyes of others. If you were a clever or cunning lady you would have never got pregnant. It happened because it was natural, you could not use precautions because you never planned it, it just happened. You have no fault. You are a precious lady now and a graceful mother of tomorrow. Do not see yourself from the eyes of that lady who killed her daughters in the womb or that man who always wanted to grab you or those fake friends who visit every lodge in the town and then pass ugly comments on you.

My dear lady, there are organizations that perform safe abortions without revealing your identity to anyone. Do not panic or lose hope. And to those who call your child a sin, who are they themselves? Are they not the combo of sperm and ovum? They think they became legal because their parents were married(is marriage the certification for sex?). They don’t wanna know if their mother was raped on the wedding night or other several nights. what if they are born out of rape and not love? Will they hate themselves now? They don’t wanna realize that a lady like you brought them to this world, they don’t wanna know that the whole creation exists because you; the woman conceives them, give them space in your body, feed them from your body, nurture them, make them capable and many more. The sacrifice of a mother is endless. You must be proud of yourself because becoming a mother is a gift given to you by nature.

 

This creation will end if you lose hope. By saying all these I am not promoting sex before marriage. I am just here to tell her that her child should not be the reason for her death because she must know that she is the reason that her mother feels more alive. Her unborn child who became the reason for her death would have become the absolute reason for her living and happiness. Life is not a race but a beautiful journey where you get to live bundles of experiences. Motherhood is one of the best experiences that a female can ever have. A lady can decorate herself with stunning outfits and glamorous makeup but a mother keeps the potential to decorate the whole of humankind with her purest love. You need to become a lady with grace. This is the time to wipe your tears and fight this battle with pride. The next generation is waiting for you, this time is waiting for you. You must survive because you need to change the entire concept of hypocrites! You must show the world that a mother is powerful even without a man.  You don't need a man to complete you because you are already awesome the way you are. Never ever let your unborn child kill you.

Share if u feel this can help her from killing herself.

कोरोनाको पर्खाल

कोरोनाको पर्खाल:

पर्खाल धेरै किसिमका हुन्छन्| कुनै पर्खालले जोगाउँछन् त कुनैले तहसनहस पार्छन्| जसरी इट्टाको पर्खाल

बनाउनु मान्छेको हातमा हुन्छ त्यसैगरी सम्बन्धको बिचमा पर्खाल ठड्याउनु पनि सबै मान्छेकै हातमा हुन्छ|

तर इट्टाबाट बनेका पर्खालहरु भत्काउनु जती सजिलो हुन्छ सम्बन्धको बिचमा बनेको पर्खाल तोड्न उत्तिनै गाह्रो|

केही त्यस्ता पर्खालहरु त कहिलै पनि नफुट्ने गरी बिकराल रुप लिएरबसिदिन्छन् |

शायद त्यस्तै कुनै पर्खाल यो कोरोनाले बनाउँदै छ कि! बिचार गरौँ!

जीवन सबैको अमुल्य छ | एउटा VENTILATOR मा बसेर आफ्नु १०० औँ बर्ष बाँचिरहेको OLD MAN लाई

पनि अज्जै बाँच्ने इच्छा हुन्छ| कलिलै उमेरमा दुर्घटनामा परेर ज्यान गुमाएकी ति सुन्तलीलाइ मर्ने मन त पक्कै

थिएन|

एउटा महान भनाइ छ:

"समय भन्दा पहिले र भाग्य भन्दा धेरै कसैले कहिलै पाउँदैन।" 

तर जीवन जती अमुल्य हुन्छ, त्यो भन्दा पनि अमुल्य सम्बन्ध हुन्छ| कोही आफ्ना रगतका नातालाई महत्व

दिन्छन् त कोही आफ्ना मित्रताका| तर जो कोइ होस् आखिर मान्छे भएपछी भावना त सबैमा हुन्छ नै|

जहाँँ माया हुन्छ त्यहाँ कोरोनाको पनि केही महत्व हुन सक्दैन | 

भगवान् कृष्णले अर्जुनलाई युद्धको बेला दिनु भएको अर्ती आज म फेरी सम्झिन चाहन्छु|

"जसरी मान्छेले पुराना वस्त्रहरु त्यागेर नयाँ वस्त्र धारणा गर्दछ,त्यसैगरी आत्माले पनि पुराना तथा व्यर्थका

शरीरहरुलाई त्यागी नविन भौतिक शरीर धारण गर्दछ।"(२.२२-श्रीमद्भग्वद्गिता यथारुप)

म धार्मिक हैन तर ज्ञानको सधैं पूजा गर्छु| प्राय मान्छेहरु अजम्बरी जसरी बाचिरहेका हुन्छन्|

मनमा रिश राग पालेमा शरीरमा रोग लाग्छ, जिन्दगी र धनको मोहमा लिप्त भएमा जीवनमा सुख रहदैन|

यो शरीर त एक दिन नाश हुनु नै छ| बाँच्छ त केवल सम्बन्ध|

तर सम्बन्धलाई छि-छि र दुर-दुर गर्ने मान्छे बाँचे पनि अक्सर जिउँदै मर्ने गर्छ| 

कोरोनाबाट त्रसित सबैलाई म सजक रहेर आफ्नु मानसिक स्वाथ्यको पनि उत्तिकै ध्यान राख्नुहुन आह्वान गर्छु|

कोरोनाले लगोस् या नलगोस् डरले चैँ पक्कै लग्छ| कोरोनाले सबै मर्दैनन् र को मर्छ पनि भन्न सकिन्न

तर कोरोनाको पर्खालले चै तपाईं पक्कै पनि कसैको लागि जिउँदै मर्नु हुनेछ|

कोरोनाको पर्खाललाई बहिस्कार गरौँ।

यहाँ कोही अछुत छैन र कोरोना कस्लाई लागेको छ या छैन भन्न पनि सकिँदैन।

घरमै बसौँ र मानवताको लागि कृपया अरुलाई छि-छि र दुर-दुर नगरौँ।        

  

How to deal with stage fear?

Public speaking is said to be the greatest fear of the human mind.

For some people it is so scary that they even pee on their pants while they stand on stage.

The symptoms like dry throat,shaking of hands and legs,faster heartbeat,chocking of breathe,sweating,forgetting everything etc has been the common for people who fear stage.

Even the people with great social status fear the stage. The fearing stage can be very annoying in many situations as it hides us from the opportunities and glory of the world.

One with great knowledge also remains behind the curtains because of stage fear. It is said that public speaking is one of the top 5 skills in the world. Lack of this very skill can sometimes become the greatest obstacle to our success.

And in other cases, people who have public speaking skill mostly keeps the probability of stealing the crown with their best persuading skills and fascinating personality. so this game-changer skill is what everyone needs to learn.

Here are few tips according to my own experience.

1.Be sure what you are going to speak

In many cases, we fail to utilize our few minutes on the stage effectively because we don't know what exactly we are there for. So you need to know the purpose of being on the stage, Stage is a platform where you will fight fear and gain confidence. It has a purpose. To know the things that you are exactly going to speak about and do not make your speech lengthy. You can go out of the topic for a while if you feel that audience is getting bored. But always remember to pitch your idea perfectly no matter how large and frightening the crowd is.

2.Breathe

Just by breathing you hold it together. It might sound minor thing but taking deep breathes before going on the stage saves you from being unconscious and keeps your brain relaxed. Take deep breaths for 5 minutes before going to the stage and continue it even when you are on the stage until you start to speak. Fresh air energizes your body and mind.

3.Don't start quickly, take time

Never ever start as soon as you cover the stage. It's better to take time as it makes you used to the stage and audiences. Take few sips of water if available and arrange your content on the podium or maintain the microphone to make your audience not give a hint of your nervousness. This will make it practical and you get few seconds to become used to the stage and prepare mentally for the words that you are gonna speak.

4.Smile

Smile is the key to deal with stage fear. Never forget to smile when you go on the stage. Smile fools your mind and relaxes it. It creates an illusion in the audience that you are confident and prepared. A smile should not be too big nor too small but natural. Smile erases half of your fear.

5.Know your audience before you go to the stage: if possible

Always reach the destination before the program starts. Try to interact with as many people as possible. Looking at known faces from the stage creates a familiar environment for you to speak. That helps in making eye contact with the audience which creates a better effect of your speech to the people.

6.Interact with the audience from the stage

Interactive public speaking is always effective. Arise few obvious questions to the audiences and wait for the answer calmly. The gap should not be too long and the questions should not be too many. If you feel your audiences are being distracted then this is the best way to gain the concentration back. You can ask obvious questions like"Which is your favorite movie", "do you know Bebe Rexha?", etc. But the questions must be according to the audience you have. If you interact, you will be remembered forever in the crowd.

7.Use body motions and facial expressions

Stop acting like a robot when you do public speaking. It's better to keep your body in motion according to what you are speaking. Use facial expressions. Facial expressions denote that you are feeling what you are speaking. If you don't mean what you speak your audiences will not believe you and liar is always ignored by people. Do not make too many body motions but do it as you think is appropriate and comfortable.

8.Practice in the mirror

One of the best ways to overcome stage fear is to practice speaking in front of the mirror. Practice makes a person perfect. So make eye contact with yourself and keep on speaking. Repeat if you forget and don't become disappointed.80% of your preparation is done with the practice in the mirror. It is very beneficial for beginners.

9.Be yourself

The last and the most important thing is to be yourself. You should never lose your originality while speaking. Never think what others might think about you because you are there on the stage and they are still in the audience. Be brave enough to believe yourself and then people will believe you. Speak from your heart. If you just become yourself, you will never have fear of stage again.