मैले आफुभित्र आगो भेटेको छु

मैले आफुभित्र आगो भेटेको छु 

जब म आफुलाई हेर्छु; ऐनामा,

लाग्छ मेरो जन्मौं जन्म देखिको प्रेमिले मलाई नियाल्दै छ

 

त्यो हेरिरहेको आँखामा म बिशाल प्रेम देख्छु 

जुन 

आँखा भित्र म आँफैलाई देख्छु 

त्यो हेरिरहेको आँखामा म बिशाल प्रेम देख्छु 

मेरो  

आँखा भित्र म आँफैलाई देख्छु 

त्यो हेराइमा एउटा सिंगो प्रश्न छ 

त्यस्को उत्तर म सँग सुन्य छ 

प्रश्न सङ्सँगै सपनाहरु आँशुको पोखरीमा 

डुबिरहेको देख्छु 

रातमा सिरानीमा अररो परेका सपानाका लाशहरु 

बिहान फेरी जिउँदा भएका कथाहरु पढ्छु 

  

उस्को ओठमा म लाली हैन क्रोध देख्छु 

त्यो क्रोधमा अरसल्ल परेका चोटहरु

जब म हेर्छु उस्लाई,

उस्लाई नहेर्न मनले मान्दैन

जब म बुझ्छु उस्लाई 

उस्लाई नबुझ्न मनले मान्दैन

उह् किताब भैदिये  

पढेर मलाई अघाउन मन लाग्दैन 

उस्मा गल्ती भएका रस्व दिर्घ 

म नसच्यायी हेरिरहन्छु 

उह् एत्तिकै राम्री लाग्छ

विथ् दोज् डार्क सर्कल्स् 

त्यो अनुहार मलाई साह्रै प्रिय लाग्छ

अनी 

म आफ्नै प्रेममा निर्लिप्त हुन्छु 

यस्तो आभाश हुन्छ 

म जस्लाई हेर्दै छु उह् म हैन

जस्ले मलाइ हेर्दै छ उह् म हैन 

उस्को बलिदानको काहानी पढेर म स्वास्वा हुन्छु

उस्को निस्वर्थिपन देखेर म वाह् वाह् हुन्छु

उस्को मुहार देखेर जती प्रेमका भाबहरु आउछँन् 

त्यती नै डरहरु पनि 

अहँ 

म त्यती भयानक हुनै सक्दिन 

 

तर एउटा तत्व छ हामीलाई एउटै बनाउने

 

आगो!

मान्छु, 

म मा थोरै छ 

उस्मा पुरै मुस्लोसरी

 

तर

आगो जती भएपनी एक झिल्का नै त चाहिने हो नि डढेलो लगाउन  

हो 

मैले आफुभित्र आगो भेटेको छु !!!

 

  

 

  

दया लाग्यो सम्माननीय

दया लाग्यो सम्माननीय

 

तिमीलाई जति यो ग्रिश्मले पोल्छ 

मलाई पनि त्यति नै पोल्छ

तर म तौलिया बेरेर नाङ्गो छाति देखाउँदिन

तिमीले त्यसो गर्दा पनि म कुनै उत्तेजनामा आउँदिन  

खबरदार!

मेरो तिघ्रालाई पुरानो थोत्रे फरियामा कैद गर्न नखोज

मेरो स्वतन्त्रतालाई तिमि आफ्नो पैतृक सम्पत्ति नसोच 

मेरो तिघ्रा त्यस्तै छ जस्तो तिम्री आमाको 

आशिर्वाद छ मलाई मेरी आमा अनि बाबाको 

नहेर !

तिघ्रामा केहि पाइन्न ,

खोज !

सायद तिम्री श्रीमतीको आँखामा तिम्रो लागि सम्मान होला !

चुक्….चुक्.… दया लाग्यो सम्माननीय !

कम्तिमा आफुले खाएको थाल त मोल !

My mom always lived in the quarantine

Where the whole world is trembling with the fear of Coronavirus, it is my mother who doesn't give a damn about the virus. Let me describe my mom's personality before telling you guys about the secret of her quarantine.



My Mother is a quiet lady with an abundance of skills and intelligence. I am overwhelmed to see how she finds a solution to every little-big problem effortlessly. I often give her the title of an engineer as she has the intellect of an engineer, although her smallest daughter is going to get the certificate. She creates her own jewelry by giving them an extraordinary design, which is found in no market. She knows to make Dhaka cloth, knit woolen clothes, sing, etc none of which I am skilled at doing. Despite having all these qualities she lives in-home quarantine ever since I remember.


Talking about the experiences, my mother has traveled to more places than I ever had. She is the dear daughter of her lost father who still keeps pride in her birthplace and sometimes boasts about her Maiti.  She often tells me stories of her childhood and how she used to play with this friend and that friend. It's not that my mom never had any friends, but now she completely chooses isolation from society. My mom never gets out of house territory, not even to nearby shops. 


Being the fourth daughter of my parents, I've spent almost all of my life with my mom. I must say that she’s a brave lady who never seeks help from anyone in the neighborhood. I’ve never ever seen her making gossips with the other women or joining any Bhajan Kirtan Mandali or groups. She finds more peace and comfort in her own company. Let’s say that she’s the lady who minds her own business.


In these few days, I have realized that the lesson Coronavirus has been teaching us now is the same lesson that my mother has been trying to teach me for more than a decade. 


Lesson 1: Life is not impossible without unnecessary socialization.

Lesson 2: One gets enough time for self as well as family in a home-quarantine.

Lesson 3: It’s better to mind our own businesses rather than unnecessary socialization.


We have been choosing home-quarantine to be safe from virus infection. But what about the virus that exists inside our thoughts? Doesn’t society act like a virus sometimes? Doesn’t it make us mentally disabled and emotionally paralyzed by judging each and every step that we take? Isn’t isolation better to safeguard ourselves from the viruses that infect our mental health?

Well,

The surprising thing about my mom is that she treats Coronavirus as an issue that is not necessary to be discussed at all. It might be so because she follows her self-quarantine and knows that the virus doesn’t die by fostering its publicity.


Sometimes it feels like the entire world is following my mother and this is what mother nature wants.


Picture source: pixabay.com

Dreams Have A lot To Say

A Shivling was sitting in the spotlessly clean water of a temple in the yard of Himalaya. A religious bell was hung just above the Shivling supported by local woods. The devotion within me was completely reflecting in my eyes and face. I massaged the Shivling with the water on which it was sitting. The water felt like a pure portion of milk. I rang the bell thrice and chanted Shiva Stotram.

The periphery of the temple was so pious that anybody could feel the divine blessings of lord shiva. When I would tilt my head upward at an angle of 45 degrees I could view the pagoda-style shiva temple. The pilgrimages in orange uniform lighting incense sticks outside the main temple and carrying white flowers inside the temple would be seen every time I looked at the temple in front of me.

I was the only one who did not go to worship the big statue of Shakara that was kept inside the temple. A thought kept me from going inside the temple. “The entire gist is in this Shivling and people keep lighting those incense sticks. The real fragrance comes from within not without.” I realized that those words were from Lord SHIVA.

 

I kept washing the Shivling with full devotion. While washing, the white ring on my finger fell on the water and floated like the most expensive piece of stone on the planet. I had never seen such a lustrous thing before. I kept on witnessing the scene without a single question in my head. 

The density of the ring was higher than water so it must have sunk according to our science. Maybe the density of that pure water was higher than that of the ring or maybe God wanted to give me a glimpse of h i/e s/r presence.  Or maybe it was just a dream of mine. But that movement mesmerized me so much that it felt so real. My eyes were filled with tears. Maybe they were the drops of love that I was receiving from God. Another sacred voice started playing in my ears. “ When the ring is separated from your hand, you are able to see its real beauty. It doesn’t bother you anymore. So will be your life if you see it from my eyes. Separate your soul from that temporary body and observe it. You will realize that it’s the most precious thing in the world.”

I was aware that it was just my dream but my face could not resist glowing with satisfaction and my heart was filled with the purity of love from God.