Whenever I stare at the large mirror of my tiny room, it shows two images of me: one vivid and another blur. In the first one, I find a pretty face in a perfect curvy body with the best complexion. It then makes me know that I am already what every girl would ever imagine being. I am compelled by my mirror to envy my own beauty. Glaring at my blue eyeballs, I wink at myself, I fall in love with myself.
Suddenly another image appears right in front of me where I see my face coated with black kazol(kazol mixed in my tears), I see small blue eyes with dreams as big as my mirror but vast fear surrounding it, I look at the stains of ugly touches on my body, they stink and I suffocate to survive, I notice sinister looks of men all over my curvy body and then I hate my body, I hate me more.
People curse those parents who kill their daughters in the womb but I bless them. I bless them because I have known,felt, and witnessed unsafe nights, scary public roads, demons in the face of men, forever blinded society(with their norms to always blame a girl, no matter what!). I guess those parents knew it already that's why they gave her a peaceful death.
With my loud voices, I declare"WORLD IS NOT SAFE FOR GIRLS. PLEASE BORN ONLY SONS UNTIL THERE REMAINS NO FEMALE IN THE WORLD! THEN LET'S SEE WHO RAPES WHO?"
Sorry to have said that boys. I do love men in the face of my father, my brother, my friends. The incident that has been permanently saved in my drive, drives me crazy every day. Let me tell you this in short.
I used to be a sports lover. I am still. I was selected from my college for a volleyball competition and I had to go to another city for that. We were in a group along with seniors and juniors. Despite my worst health condition, I practiced my best. My personal life was going like hell(ex-boyfriend kinds of stuff ( let's not talk about losers here). It was the day of the game when everyone went earlier and then I was the one who was left alone on the topmost floor (alone with my fever). I was lying almost unconscious in my bed when I felt a huge body garbing me from the back. I froze with fear. It was THE COACH. I couldn't believe that a person like a mentor would ever do such a thing to me. Well, it was not my first experience of introduction with such demons(i have been facing that since my childhood). I made him leave the room anyway and cried my heart out almost to death.
The thing that surprises me most is that those who were later on told about the incident did not take any action against that coach. Those are the guys who give vast lectures on women's rights and the protection of girls. These days I become more scared by thinking that what if i had been raped that day? Were they waiting for me to be raped to punish that demon? Or are they just taking it simple and minding their own business? I was more hurt by the ones who I thought were my well-wishers and who promised to give me justice than that coach who I had met just a few days before.
Today let me announce dear well-wishers: now I have realized my power(the eternal power that your mother has, that my mother has and every woman of the world have). So next time if I see you on the street, with few candles. seeking justice for some innocent rape victim or talking about women's rights, I will hang you guys right there and afterward the culprit! because you guys are responsible to encourage the culprits. when people around the victim act as if nothing has happened they demotivate the victim and motivate the culprit.
NOW, as I have seen myself from my spirits, I don't stare at the mirror. I just look at it and I still see two images. The first one is the same and I adore it. The second one has become more visible to me. Now I feel like washing off my Kazol, bathing away the stinks from my body, and finally accepting the other me.
P.S. MY EYES: there is no fear anymore but don't look at them, they'll make you frightened for sure.
picture source:pixabay.com
